Thursday, April 14, 2011

My Week As A Single Mom- Day 7 Highlights

I watched The Amityville Horror on TV last night (side note: you probably already know this, because you are much, much smarter than I am, but watching horror movies about haunted houses is not exactly the greatest idea in the world when you are home alone in a house that constantly makes noises that are mystifying and bizarre. However, at this point, I might just welcome an evil demon presence because, hell, it’s company…). I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the original movie or not, but there is a countdown of every day that the family spent in the house, with the musical score becoming more and more terrifying as the days pass. By the last scene, on Day 28, the music is so haunting and angry that you just KNOW that some really bad sh*t is about to go down. Well, in my house, it is the opposite- the music started 7 days ago. The deep, haunting, bad-sh*t-is-going-to-go-down music began and has progressively gotten lighter and happier as the days pass. This morning, I LEAPT out of bed with the soundtrack from Snow White playing in my head. Yes, I WOULD give a whistle while I worked! I WOULD cheerfully tidy up the place! I WOULD hum a merry tune! Because tonight, my Single Momdom comes to an end- an END! You know what I’m going to do tomorrow morning? Nothing. You know what I’m going to cook for dinner tomorrow night? Nothing. You know what I’m going to say when Kaia starts crying that it’s not FAIR that she can’t watch TV show before bed or that she doesn’t WANT to take a bath? “GO TELL IT TO YOUR FATHER”. That’s what.

You get my drift, though believe me, I could go on and on. And on and on and on….because it just makes me SO happy!

But, the day is not yet over, and Jabiz doesn’t get back until midnight, so here are today’s highlights:

Day 7:

• Was SO determined to not oversleep again that I woke up on my own every 15 minutes from 4:00 a.m. on. Which was good, because both the kids were up at 5:30. Even Kaia who could have slept as LATE as possible because she didn’t have school today. I guarantee all of you that if she DID have school today, I would have still been trying to coax her out of bed at 6:15…because that is just the joy of having kids.

• Enjoyed a Skype chat with Jabiz, during which he informed me that he’d woken up only an hour ago. That was at 10:15 a.m. I’d already been up for five hours. Grrrrrrr…give a whistle, give a whistle, give a whistle…stupid whistle.

• Discovered that Parents magazine is now available on iPad. This is ironic because I have been meaning to order a subscription to be sent to my parents so that whenever I see them, they can give me the issues. However, I keep forgetting to subscribe, and now I know that my forgetfulness is not a character flaw, after all, but really just the universe sending me a message:

Must. Get. iPad. Really, really, really, really, really.

I could take paragraphs and paragraphs here telling you how much I luuuuuuuuuuuuurves me some Parents magazine, but they don’t pay me to do that, so let’s move on.

I do, though. Love it. I don’t even care that my 25-year-old self would be completely disgusted to read that sentence. Screw you, 25-year-old self, I WANT to learn about easy dinner makeovers and how to make cute Halloween cupcakes. Deal with it.

• Came home to find the kids ALLLLLLLLL kinds of riled up. That is what happens whenever Kaia doesn’t have school but we do and the girls stay home together all day with the nanny. There is something about being home without Mom and Dad that brings out the stir-craziness in my kids like nothing else. Of course, it also helps that our nanny, god bless her, is a softie when it comes to Kaia and does things like let her eat cereal for lunch and have cookies for a snack right after. But she stays cooped up in the house with The Crazy all day with the patience of a saint, so whatever. A few short rounds of Shopping Cart Vs. Doll Stroller, a couple of laps around the house, a few times playing Follow The Leader up and down the stairs, and they are ready to flop on the couch with me and stare at the ceiling.

• Skyped with Jabiz while he was sitting in the airport in Vietnam, waiting for his flight to come home. Watched as the kids waved, kissed the screen and showed him their books. Because my kids? Are the cutest things in the world, and I am not just saying that because they have my DNA. I truly, truly believe it. I DO admit that I may carry a teensy little bit of bias around with me, though.

OK, you all. Thanks for sharing the week with me, I hope that you’ve been able to find some solace at my expense, and maybe get a little ego boost as an added bonus!

And please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m pretty freakin’ happy about the fact that you won’t be hearing from me tomorrow. My fingers and my soul need a rest. Well, what they really need is a trip to the spa, but I have to work, so I’ll take an evening of unplugging my computer and watching the Top Chef reunion episode instead . You’ll be hearing from me soon enough, though- god knows I can’t stay quiet for long…


  1. Just wanted to publicly say a few things:

    I am so proud of the dedication and wit you have shown this blog. It is and funny and very well written.

    Which brings me to my next point, I love that you are finding your writing voice, and even though I have known you for over ten years and know that this voice has been in you for so long, it is great to see it sing in prose out here on the interwebs.

    Keep up the great work. Love every post.

    See everyone, blogging can bring you even closer to those you already know well.

  2. I laughed out loud when I read the labels on the post. But more seriously, I think we don't realize how much we tag team until we are IT alone. Glad you made it through as a single mom. I love reading your blog.

  3. Ooo I want an iPad too.

    Scary movies are almost too much for me these days. I tend to freak out and think there are ghosts hovering around my house whenever I watch one.