So, since my husband is awesome and totally smart and talented and all that, he often leaves town to go to conferences and such. This leaves me walking a veeeeeeery fine line between feeling ecstatically proud of him for his accomplishments and motivation to develop himself both personally and professionally....and wanting to take everything out of his suitcase as he is prepping to leave, throw it at his head and scream, "What the hell are you thinking, leaving me home alone with these kids for A WEEK???".
I know, I am an awesome wife. And he is a lucky, lucky guy. You should definitely tell him that. Like, right now.
It's not that my kids are awful; quite the contrary, they are really wonderful, delightful kids. They are just wonderful, delightful kids who have A LOT of energy, and who don't always do the things that normal people might consider doing on a daily basis, such as sleeping, eating, or doing anything practical at a pace faster than that of a snail on valium. I mean, seriously? How long can it possibly take to put on a school uniform in the morning? And why does it take 30 minutes to get IN the car and strapped into the seat, but 10 seconds to get OUT?
So, in the interest of making every single person that I've ever met suffer right along with me, I have decided to document my week as a Single Mom here.
So, here are the highlights from Day #1 of Single Momdom:
* Was terrified that the compound electricity would go out all night again (as it had the night before, resulting in two very HOT, scared and cranky kids. And don't even get me started on the mosquitoes that came out as soon as the air con died off...), so I woke up every 30 minutes in a panic to reassure myself that the air con and fridge were, indeed, still alive.
* Had decided that I was absolutely, positively going to go to a party held by colleagues tonight because I need to get out of the house, dammit. Two hours later, I re-evaluated and decided that there is absolutely, positively NO way that I am doing anything that involves getting off my couch tonight because I need to relax, dammit.
* In a moment of weakness, I volunteered to go and read to Kaia's class as part of the school's Book Week next week. I was then asked if I would instead read to the ENTIRE EARLY YEARS PROGRAM as part of the morning assembly. Because I am a complete idiot (and because the head of the Early Years division is a friend of mine), I said yes. Right. That is going to go just swimmingly. Because I? Have no idea how to keep and maintain the attention of 50 3-5 year-olds for longer than about 20 seconds. Any help in this area would be greatly appreciated.
* Sent this email out to everyone I know who has kids:
Is anyone down for a play date or something on Sunday? I will go anywhere and do anything, I do not care as long as it gets us out of the house!
* Received emails back from everyone I know who has kids letting me know that they are going out of town/busy this weekend, but all would love to get together NEXT weekend.
* Encouraged my kids to stay up a BIT later than usual in hopes that it will result in them sleeping later in the morning. This will either work or will result in the kids waking up at the same time as usual, but crankier than usual because they got less sleep. Fingers crossed.
* Began mentally planning the tour of outlet stores that I will take when Jabiz gets back, because he sooooooo totally owes me.
* Am now sprawled on the couch with a marathon of "Hot In Cleveland" episodes a-waiting, and I'm not even a little bit embarrassed about that. Like, at all. Because I will watch anything featuring Betty White and Wendy Malick, anywhere, anytime.
Good night, everyone!