Wednesday, April 13, 2011

My Week As A Single Mom- Day 6 Highlights

Day 6:

One more day to go!

• Set the alarm for 5:15 in order to help the day go more smoothly. Woke up to the sun shining on my face and looked at the clock- 6:07 a.m. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! Turns out that in all of Kaia’s procrastination before going to sleep (she sleeps in my bed when Jabiz is out of town), she knocked my alarm clock off the bedside table and the battery flew out. She put the clock back, but not the battery, which is REALLY the key thing when trying to wake up anywhere near your target time. And there I was, thinking I was soooooooo clever, having a battery-operated alarm clock instead of digital in an attempt to combat the frequent power outages that so entertain and delight us here in our compound. Looks like the Electricity Gods found a way to show me that non-digital isn’t exactly the panacea that I'd thought it was, is it now?

Ran around like the Mad Hatter with his giant pocket watch, shrieking, “We’re late! We’re late!”, snatching Skye from her crib and begging, PLEADING with Kaia to just please, please, please not take more than 10 minutes to walk from the bed to the breakfast table. Threw my hair up into a ratty ponytail while trying to convince myself that it was the sexy, disheveled look that Jennifer Aniston is so good at pulling off.

I’m pretty sure that I don’t need to write a sentence describing exactly HOW MUCH I did not look like Jennifer Aniston when I walked out the door, but just in case I do, here it is:

Jennifer Aniston I was not. Jennifer Aniston’s homeless cousin? Maybe.

• Saw that GINORMOUS Disney Princess ABC Writing Book was still on display in the lobby amongst the book sellers’ tables. Got sinking feeling that it would making its way home with us later…consoled myself that maybe it would keep Kaia busy and help stop the insanity while I made dinner. Still NO Strawberry Shortcake books. Guessed that there must be some kind of nationwide shortage or something, but figured that it would be a good lesson on how you can’t always get what you want, life’s not fair, blah blah blah….time to get over it, for god’s sake.

• Went to meet the nanny and Skyelar in the lobby to take Skye to class. However, THIS time she put her advanced deduction skills to good use and figured out what was up as we were halfway to the building. Let me tell you, my kid’s no dummy. Sometimes that is a curse instead of a blessing. Clearly, she was thinking, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me TWICE, shame on me!”

The screamfest began.

More screaming.

Still more screaming.

There is nothing more humbling than walking into a classroom with a child who is ALREADY half delirious from sobbing and telling the teacher, “Yeah, so, um, call me if there are any problems, OK? Oh, and here is her snack bag. You know, just in case she ever decides to open her mouth to EAT rather than to scream,” before sprinting out the door.

• Walked back to my classroom repeating to myself, “It will be fine, it will be fine, it will BE FINE!”. Am pretty sure that I now have a reputation around school as The Crazy Lady Who Talks To Herself.

• At this point, I’m going to ask you to close your eyes and open your imagination. Can you see me? There, in the car? Going home? No? You can’t? Oh, that’s right, it’s because there is a GINORMOUS Disney Princess ABC Writing And Learn book shielding my entire body.

I’m not going to say anything more about that, except that it DID keep Kaia busy and occupied while I was making dinner…well, until Skye wanted to play with it, too, and it all ended in a screaming tug-of-war over the dry erase marker that came with it. Oh, well. At least I got 15 minutes of quiet. That right there is worth the price of the book.

Kaia and her Book Week loot...

• Took my devotion to simple meals one step FURTHER by serving pancakes for dinner. I made them a BIT healthier by adding cheese and soy breakfast sausage to them, and the mix is the kind that you need to add MILK and EGGS to (not just water- no, no, we are a fancy house). When all is said and done, though, they were still pancakes. Tried to pass it off as a “Breakfast For Dinner! Aren’t We Wild And Crazy?” theme night to feel better about myself and try to mask the fact that I’ve just given up. Clearly, that worked SUPER well.

One more day, you all! One. More. Day.

Good night!


  1. I know all about the screaming :/ My daughter does it a lot..

  2. I know! I think about you and others whose husbands are out of the country for much more than just one week, and I seriously am in awe. In awe! I have no idea how you do it so well!

    Well, and I realize what a complete wuss I am.