Monday, August 1, 2011

My Dream Bathroom...

 I am obsessed with a lot of things: grocery stores, washing dishes, cookbooks (if only I was even half as obsessed with cooking, that would balance out nicely), parenting magazines,the internet...LOTS of things! But one thing I have never been obsessed with are bathrooms. I've never really cared too much about bathrooms, except for their cleanliness. When I fantasize about renovating houses, I think about the kitchen (Grill top! Industrial size fridge! LOTS of storage!) and the closets (a linen closet! I really, really want a linen closet!), but never really the bathroom. As long as it's clean and big enough to hold everything I need, that has always been acceptable.

Until now.

I hate the bathroom in our house. HATE IT. Actually, I loathe it entirely.  And I try not to hate it, I do. I try to be grateful and tell myself that we are lucky to have a nice house, even if it is filled with mosquitoes. I tell myself that we are lucky to have indoor plumbing with hot water, even if the hot water lasts long enough to EITHER wash my hair or shave my legs, but never long enough for both.

My husband and I met in the Peace Corps, and spent two years living in a hut with an outdoor, uncovered latrine and shower area, so trust that I know enough to be grateful for an indoor bathroom, but still- STILL- I cannot stop hating it.

Why? Well, where to start...

My biggest issue is the fact that our bathroom doesn't have a window, not even a tiny one up near the ceiling or in the corner- nothing. NO WINDOW. Which means no natural light at all. Even with the brightest bulb in the socket, our bathroom always looks dark, which for some reason makes me feel like it always looks dirty. It's not dirty. Our maid cleans it daily. But it SEEMS dirty because of the darkness.

It's also depressing to wake up at 5:30 in the morning, only to go into a dark bathroom to shower and do my toilette. Seriously, every morning when I stumble into the bathroom and turn the light on, I think, "Oh, yeah...I forgot about THIS!"

The other issue is the shower. There is about two inches between the edge of the tub and the wall, which basically turns into a channel for water to run down before it flows onto the floor and floods the whole bathroom every time someone takes a shower. EVERY TIME. The bath mat and everything.

The only way to  lessen the amount of water that ends up on the floor is to make sure that the shower is turned towards the shower curtain while showering. Which means what when you are showering, you must be huddled against the shower curtain in order to get wet. It also means that every time you shower, you must first make sure that the shower head is facing towards the curtain. Sometimes we forget, and it's not completely turned to the curtain, which leads to whoever is getting in the shower to realize it a few seconds too late and scream, "Who turned the shower head? WHO?!" as the steady stream of water starts to soak the bath mat.

The final issue is that our shower head is at the normal Asian Shower Height, which is about at my shoulders. And we can't raise it any higher, because the water heater is there. My husband and I deal with this in different ways- he washes his hair on his knees, while I do a backward bend that keeps my thigh muscles in check whenever I wash my hair.

Anyway, it's just sad.

So, what was the point of all this ranting? Oh, yes...because of the utter inferiority of our bathroom, I have started fantasizing about my dream bathroom. When I was little, all I wanted was a BIG bathtub! Like, a tub you could SWIM IN! But now, my priorities lie in other areas.

Like a place to sit down. I don't know about you, but the older I get, the more products I seem to need for my hair. Hair dye, color glaze, deep conditioner BECAUSE of the hair dye and color glaze, etc...let's just not get into all that. I've decided that I'm just too lazy to devote 5 hours on a weekend every 4-6 weeks to get my hair colored, so I am trying to take matters into my own hands and just do it myself at home.

I currently use two different products on my hair that require being left in for 3-5 minutes, 3 times a week. When I color my hair, that requires being left in for bout 25-30 minutes. This didn't sound like much when I initially read the instructions on the bottles, but the first time I tried them out, I quickly realized what this means.

It means that, since I hate to waste water, I have to turn off the shower and stand there, COLD AND SHIVERING, for 3-5 minutes. TWICE. I could space this out and alternate days on which I use the products, but have I mentioned that I am kind of lazy? I don't like to wash my hair everyday, and a hair stylist told me once that I shouldn't, anyway.

I could also wrap a towel around myself while I'm waiting, but then all of the towels would be damp when I ACTUALLY finished the shower, and I really like a dry towel to envelop myself in.

Have I also mentioned that I'm kind of high maintenance?

What this translates to is a fantasy bathroom that has a CHAIR on which I can rest while waiting for my hair products to work their magic, preferably with a little table next to it on which to place a glass of wine and my laptop so that I can watch an episode of... anything, really. I'd also throw one of those mini wine fridges right on in there, but you know... I don't want to be greedy.

So, yeah, there it is- forget the giant bathtub, now I want a sitting area! Seriously, I would never leave that bathroom, and my hair would look GORGEOUS.
In fact, forget the bathtub altogether, as I've found that they are not all they are cracked up to be. They take up space, they use a ton of water, and they cause more messes than necessary whenever the kids get in them.

Give me a nice, stand-up shower and leave the extra room for my sitting area.

Another feature that I feel is very, very important is the double sink. Yes, I want TWO sinks- one for me and one for my husband, so that I don't feel like a nagging shrew every time I get grossed out by the globs of toothpaste and shaving cream that so often linger in the sink after he finishes HIS toilette. The he could be content to ignore his own messiness, and I could be the carefree, easygoing wife that I PRETEND to be in my head.

I mean, is that too much to ask? I think not.

My third and final Dream Bathroom Item is lighting that is bright enough for me to tweeze my eyebrows by, yet soft enough so that my skin always looks dewy and flawless. I suppose some might consider this to be Magic Lighting, but I am an optimist and believe that anything is attainable if you look long and hard enough.

So, there it is, the bathroom that I fantasize about every time I brush my teeth under the one dim bulb in our bathroom, or when I am huddled against the shower curtain in a backward bend, washing my hair.

Tell me what you would have in YOUR Dream Bathroom!

Seriously? Seriously.

1 comment:

  1. My dream bathroom would be a self cleaning one.

    I HATE cleaning bathrooms.


    Oh, and sorry it took me so long to get back to you but you asked if the Target 75% off sale was online? No, it's not. Just in stores unfortunately.