Well, everyone, the end of the week has come, and what a loooooooong week it has been. I'd like to share some bits of wisdom that I have gained this week, in hopes that they will help you, too, grow both as a person and as a parent.
You're welcome.
This week, I have learned:
1.) When your child is in Time Out in your bedroom and has stopped screaming like a freaking banshee on a sugar high for more than 20 seconds, it is NOT- I repeat, NOT- because they are busy reflecting on their actions and behavior, thus ready to come out of the room and start acting like a contributing member of the family for the first time all week.
It IS because they are too busy slathering him/herself from head to toe with your brand-new, olive-scented lotion- which is ALSO, incidentally, all over your newly-washed duvet cover.
You're welcome.
2.) Do not ever (no, seriously, EVER) attempt to make any new recipes or broaden your childrens' palates in any way. They will not eat it, and you will then be stuck eating pesto risotto everyday for lunch for the entire next week.
Pesto risotto for dinner? Yum. Pesto risotto for lunch EVERY DAMN DAY? Less yum.
You're welcome.
3.) Whatever mood the child who wakes up first is in, the child who wakes up second will be in the exact opposite mood.
I know this. I know this empirically from our mornings this week, when for the first 3 days, Skye screamed nonstop from the second she woke up until the second we dropped her off in her classroom. I am not exaggerating, I am SO not exaggerating. In fact, I wish that I WAS exaggerating, so I could think to myself as I write this, "Well, it wasn't really THAT bad, but it will make a more interesting blog post!"
No.
Skye literally screamed the entire time she walked down the stairs in the morning. She literally would shove her breakfast bowl away from her after barely glancing at the contents, screaming "Don't want to!" She would then literally refuse to let us take off her pajamas, bending her arms and grabbing onto the bottom of her PJ top every time we tried. That would be followed by her literally screaming when we changed her diaper. Or put on her uniform. Or brushed her teeth. Or put her into the car. Or took her OUT of the car.
I can sense that you might be getting my drift by now.
Anyway, Kaia observed this behavior, and we could watch the wheels turn in her mind as she clearly thought, "That is ridiculous. I am not going to lower myself to such antics."
She was lovely. She ate her breakfast with a smile on her face. She said nice things to everyone. She got dressed and ready for school without complaining or taking her own sweet time. When we got to school, she grabbed her bags and ran cheerfully off to class.
We thought to ourselves how lucky we are to have at least ONE pleasant child in the house.
Until this morning. Skye woke up early, and while the sounds of her stirring would normally cause me to wince and brace myself for the screaming that was surely to come shortly, this morning was different.
She was quiet. She came out of the room with a smile on her face. She ate her toast quickly, then asked for more. I was just thinking that we were going to have an actual- dare I say it?- PLEASANT morning when Kaia came walking out.
Remember lovely, smiling Kaia? Well, neither did she, apparently. She took one look at her french toast and started to crumble because it wasn't a bagel. She pulled out all the theatrical stops, sobbing into her arms on the table, wailing loudly, and sniffling pathetically.
Meanwhile, Skye just looked at her with a disgusted expression that clearly said, "What's going on with THAT ONE today?"
Upon further reflection, Jabiz and I concluded that we could count the number of times when our kids were both in good moods at the SAME TIME on one hand from recent memory.
Sigh.
I guess ONE is better than NONE, right? I always try to look on the bright side...
I'll say it one last time: You're welcome.
Have you learned any valuable lessons this week that you'd like to pass along?
